P is for ...

Today’s blog is brought to you by the letter ‘P’. Primarily Pee Pee, Poopies and Purees.

This is solely due to my acceptance of the following facts:

1. It was time to aerate Chickie’s bottom
2. It was time to liquefy Chickie’s food

I’ll deal with Point 1 first:

Bottom Aeration

Chickie’s had a red mark in nappy valley for ages. The Doctor dismissed it with a wafting grunt. I’ve tried Sudacrem, Doublebase, Eumobase, Vaseline and Savlon. None have worked. I knew, deep in my heart, the best solution would be to allow Chickie to pee alfresco but, with it being a tad cold out at the moment, thought it a bit unseasonal to leave him outside commando. This only left one option. I knew, deep in my obsessive compulsively disordered mind, this was the worst possible scenario for someone like me but I’d run out of ointments.

Encouraged by Chickie’s unusually enthusiastic offering yesterday evening, I felt the bottom was ripe for further exposure and it might be just what we needed to get the bowels in motion. One collection jar, copious amounts of kitchen roll, my trustee antibacterial wipes and one buff little bottom later and I was distinctly uneasy. Taking a moment to enjoy my sofa without wee wee stains, I stood by Chickie’s side, ready to pounce should the need arise. After 45 minutes, I was getting tired chasing Chickie and the Giant Peach around the house and decided what will pee, will pee.

To all of Chickie’s little friends who are coming round on Monday afternoon, you may want to give the Poo Pit (I can actually think of an even better rhyme but Snowy wouldn’t approve!), previously known as the Ball Pit, a wide berth. Also, the rug in his bedroom, the rug in my dining room, the floor by the kitchen stair gate, the kitchen floor by the yummy cupboard, the floor by his toy chest and his highchair. Oh and his sheepskin rug is a write off. Yes, I had a lovely day wiping up after the human stain who enjoyed his first paddle, just not in the sea.

Puree, Puree, Puree

I concede. Chick wins. As much as I try and get Chickie to eat solid pieces of fruit, they all get the same ‘spit it out’ treatment. I have stubbornly refused to puree them up until this point in the belief that I would be catering to his laziness. However, as botty concerns are mounting, all attention has turned to his diet. My cries of, “I’ve tried giving it to him, but he just won’t eat it” are beginning to lose the sympathy of the judging public and it seems I’m expected to stoop to any devious, bad habit forming depths to get him to digest his five a day.

So look what I did. I hope everyone's happy now.

Just don’t come crying to me, Chickie, because your friends are all on solids.