The Grouch

This morning began with a trip to the dentist. A dentist who kept me waiting for 35 minutes. 35 minutes which I would have preferred to spend asleep rather than sat waiting in his perfectly named waiting room. How can you be 35 minutes behind schedule at 9.15am (all mummies are exempt from that remark)? Yes, I’m grouchy. Chickie woke up repeatedly last night for no approved reason. Anyway, I spent 5 minutes in the chair and was charged £15.50 to have the dental equivalent of a kebab skewer dug into my gums.

Tardy dentist has referred me for my impacted wisdom tooth which is growing in a way nature didn’t intend. Normal teeth grow up or down. My special tooth is growing sideways and pushing all my other previously straight teeth into crookedness. Dentist has also warned me that, as my special tooth is so very close to my nerve, there is a reasonable risk that I could spend the rest of my post-extraction days dribbling. This did not improve my mood.

I stomped off back to the car and to the father genetically responsible for my mouthful of problems. This may seem a slight over-whinge for one rogue wisdom tooth, but there are 10 years of orthodontics, 4 retainers, 7 extractions, 2 impacted wisdom teeth (one of which re-infected 5 times prior to removal), 1 root canal and 16 fillings that have intermittently brightened up my life up until now.

An email from Dynabum, the woman who bought me the impurity inflaming face mask which did exactly what it said on the tube, upset me further. “Let me tell you what I have just booked for this year: 7 nights on 5* star cruise up the Nile in July, 17 nights on Caribbean Princess cruise in Caribbean in October (Princess Cays (private island in Bahamas), St Maarten, St Thomas, Fort Lauderdale, Jamaica, Grand Cayman & Cozumel (Mexico)).

“Dear Dynabum, thanks for the acne, it was a lovely late-Christmas present. I’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore but, unfortunately, I’m too busy not spending any money because I’m not allowed, not going on any holidays because I’m not allowed to spend money and spending every evening with my friends Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, JD, Carrie, Samantha and Miranda. Even if I am ever allowed to spend money ever again, there’s a strong possibility I won’t be able to go out in public because of the dribbling. Enjoy your cruises”.