Frozen Chickie

It’s suddenly very, very cold. I knew Chickie was grateful for his extra layers despite being unable to move any part of his upper body. He showed his appreciation by glaring at me from his car seat.

We went to a playdate this morning to see Natalie and one of her little girls, Sophie, and my friend Claire the Chav brought her bambino, Isabella. In blatant defiance of the no-dummy rule in force at her house, Isabella has devised a cunning alternative. At least it's discreet!

Natalie is married to Kevin who I have known for about fourteen years. Kevin has delighted me over the years with his unashamed love of girly music, his ultra-ultra competitive streak, his utter laziness and excessive wind.

I have many, many memories involving Kevin’s ridiculous behaviour over the years but my all time favourite still makes me chuckle ten years later.

I’ll set the scene. We were in church, it was quiet as the congregation contemplated deep spiritual matters. Kev was leaning back on his chair as he was incapable of doing anything normally, including sitting. I thought it would be an excellent moment to dig him in the ribs. I delivered the short, sharp and very unexpected poke with the stealth of a ninja.

Kevin not only fell backwards off his chair but the shock caused him to lose control of his bottily functions. Fifty horrified faces turned in unison as Kevin let rip a true whoopee cushion style thunder dumpling and collapsed amidst a green haze on the floor.

The babies had a lovely time although Chickie upset Sophie by eating the Party Ring she had been saving for her older sister for when she came home from school. A replacement was immediately produced from the Emergency Party Ring Selection Box. Phew. Sophie gave Chickie a kiss to show all was forgiven or she could have been trying to retrieve the biscuit?

Gambogini has desperately been trying to comment on the blog after I wrote about her in Sit Down and Be Quiet but, unfortunately for her, it's not working! What a shame. Seems like your defence will remain unheard my dear friend!

Also, thank you so much Gambogini for the personalised 2007 calendar that arrived this morning featuring twelve of the most hideous photographs of myself ever taken. I will deal with you when I see you but in the meantime, let's all enjoy this special photograph of you xxx