The Chickie Diet

Some people think that being a full-time housewife is an occupation best suited to the idle woman who gets all the mental stimulation she can handle from her daily dose of Diagnosis Murder - but that’s a whole other blog! My point today, however, focuses on the unspoken challenges that we face every day. Take today for instance:

Such was my craving for some Bourbons, I made a special biscuit trip to the shop to get some. Chickie came along on his trike. He has a selection of four different footrests on his deluxe tricycle but naturally chose to drag his overpriced cruiser shoes along the pavement instead. Ten separate stops to reiterate ‘no’ and reposition his tootsies on the footrests. On the way home, it started snowing. Perfect. I thought Spring had sprung but, in typical British style, it’s bleak midwinter again. The promise of my sofa, Deal or No Deal and my Bourbons dunked into a hot cuppa spurred me on.

Fifteen minutes later, the scene was set. Propped up by five fluffy pillows, I sat back and took a big slurp of tea and sunk my teeth into my first Bourbon of many. Chickie, much like his mummy, has a built in antenna for all things sugary, and within seconds was stood before me, puppy dog eyed and open mouthed. Drat. With only half an hour until his din dins, Mummy had a dilemma.

Dilemma One: Pump The Baby Full of Biscuits ?
Mummy gives in to cute expectant baby and lets him eat biscuits so she, herself, can binge as planned. However, she is assured a nightmare teatime situation when trying to follow biscuits with the less popular Spaghetti Bolognese. Tantrums, spitting and tears will follow. Mummy will ultimately pay the price.

Dilemma Two: Withhold The Biscuits ?
Chances of successful outcome to teatime situation greatly improved although not guaranteed. However, tantrum still anticipated at the point Mummy denies baby biscuits. Most importantly, mummy unable to tuck into biscuit selection, whilst watching Deal or No Deal, as baby will make all attempts at consumption impossible, no matter how devious. Mummy will still pay the price.

The outcome to my no win situation, as anticipated, was tantrums. First Chickie’s, then Mummy’s.