Nobody Puts Baby in a Bag

As I lay on the sofa, I could have been mistaken for a giant marshmallow as every article of my clothing contained at least 90% fluff. I was living the Marks and Spencer, “Relax at Home” dream. I doubt this is how the cool and trendy saw in 2007 but I couldn’t have been more comfortable.

We’d spent the day bowling with Meerkat and LucyWucy. Chickie was collected by Glam-Nan and Snowy and taken for his daily de-caffacino. LucyWucy was fortunate enough to enjoy a free handheld hoover demonstration by Glam-Nan whilst I got ready. Words like “lightweight”, “suction” and “really?” floated up the stairs.

Meerkat was predictably competitive and embarrassed us all with his Fred Flintstone style twinkle toes run up and his lightweight pink bowling ball. After the first three strikes, it just got boring although not for Meerkat, who performed victory high fives with himself. Accountant’s style was less flamboyant although he also opted for the child weight ball.

Meerkat attracted the attention of a group of young girls in the lane next to ours, not because of his prowess with a bowling ball, but due to his ridiculous celebratory, ‘I think you’ll find that’s my 4th consecutive strike’, bum wiggle. We made our exit when a scary looking individual started typing ‘Snakey the Hips’ into the computer next to ours. A deliciously smug Meerkat was declared Bowling Champion Supremo.

On our way out, the amusements caught our eye. A token for the Dancing Euromix Stage 2 - £1. Watching Meerkat and Accountant perform their rhythmless, blundering Cotton Eyed Joe joint step routine, priceless.

When we got home, the Poff and Chick had a lovely time playing. When they were sufficiently pooped, they had a splashy splashy sploshy bath together, each staring at the other like they’d been given a new bath toy.

Chickie had cheekily managed to escape his new sleeping bag the night before and when Accountant had gone into him the next morning, he found him strutting around his cot in his baby grow, sleeping bag casually slung over his shoulder.

Once babes were sleepy bye byes, the serious partying began. Pizza and board games (Boys versus Girls). Unfortunately for Meerkat, ‘Articulate’ was a time pressured game requiring speed of thought and affirmative action. Watching Meerkat bounce up and down in competitive frustration at his team mate’s apparent inability to form a sentence was probably my favourite part of the evening.

Just to complete our middle-aged, “we have children now” New Year’s celebrations, we sat back, sipping our cups of tea and watched our wedding video. Meerkat and LucyWucy shared a glance which I knew meant "we're so lucky to be here, at the hippest New Year venue in town".