Wake Up and Smell the Nappies!

When I used to work in an office, my life as it is today, was my idea of “living the dream”. Now that I’m mowing the grass on the greener, insolvent side, I find myself eyeing up the next patch of lush looking lawn where money grows on the trees and I lounge around in a Cape Cod summer house, spending uninterrupted hours alone eating chocolate.

The routine daily worries of feeding, behaviour, milestones and general baby volume can sometimes suppress my enjoyment of being a mother. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy it. There is nothing in this world that compares to sharing your life with the little person you created, who’s discovering everything for the first time and, with just a smile, can make your heart burst with more fluffy-wuffy mushy love than you ever thought yourself capable of. On the flip side, a toddler discovering the world before your eyes is a messy, destructive creature that requires constant, energy-draining supervision.

I know that when I’m old and have all those hours alone that seem so important to me now, this time will be the most cherished of my life. Toy storage, the age he walked and whether I had enough “me” time will be of no importance.

I will just want the time back when I could cuddle my yummy little boy as much and as long as I wanted, I could watch his little face as he discovered something new and remember how he couldn’t wait to show me because he thought I’d never seen it before and listen to him saying “Dad-dy” and smiling proudly because he knows how much I love hearing it (although Mummy would be even better!)

I can’t offer any profound answers because I can’t help how I will sometimes feel at the end of a long day and I’m a dreamer by nature so will always carry a little vision of my sipping tea on the porch of my New England mansion in the back of my mind.

I just hope that by being mindful of the trappings of ‘always wanting more’ and restricting my worry to things that really matter, I will always appreciate how blessed I am and that I already have more than I deserve.

Writing this with PMT was a mistake, I’m making myself blub.