A Sick Hypochondriac

My weight loss programme got an unexpected boost last night. I was up all night running to and from the bathroom after suddenly feeling very sick. A rumble in my bumble was also present so I found myself ‘fully’ occupied from 10pm – 6am.

After my first episode, I crawled back to bed and asked Accountant whether he was aware that I had been unwell. When he confirmed that he had heard, I asked him why he hadn’t come to check on me and explained that my mummy would never let me be ill alone and would’ve held my hair for me and patted my back. I then declared that he obviously didn’t love me at all and sulked under the covers wishing Glam-Nan was there to look after me.

The second time around, Accountant came scurrying in right on cue to administer back pats. Oh dear Lord, how we both wish he hadn’t. I just hope the imagery of what he witnessed will fade in his mind over time and we can have a chance at a normal, happy marriage. It was difficult to look him in the eye this morning.

Anyway, I have little else to write about today as I am camped out on the sofa, watching Columbo, sipping a glass of water. Normally, this would be my idea of heaven, shame I’m too achy to appreciate it.

I contacted Glam-Nan first thing this morning to inform her that “Petsykins” had endured a rough night and that I required sympathy and fluffy cuddles from a professional as my giant comfort knickers weren't cutting it.