Get the Marigolds - There's a Storm Approaching...

This isn’t staged. This is honestly the sight that greeted me when I opened the bedroom door last night. I don’t know why Accountant tucks his lips in but he does it all the time; when driving, when sat watching TV, when tucked up in bed with his earphones in and his eye mask pulled down seductively low. I’m sure I must be the only woman in the world that has to go to sleep next to a lipless man wearing a ‘Sweet Dreams’ eye mask, listening to TalkSport. There will never be a second child in this marriage.

I found myself in the twilight zone this morning. I trotted down to the shop to get the paper to see if we were in it. I asked the lady behind the counter to give me a bag as it was a tad blowy as she may have guessed from my Rod Stewart hair. “At least it’s dry” she said. “It’ll probably start thundering now!” I jovially replied. Two minutes into my walk home, the sky got dark and a massive clap of thunder sounded. How scary is that? Noo Noo Noo Nooo.

I have issues with thunderstorms which hark back to my childhood. Bless my mother for doing what she thought best at the time but I don’t know what the neighbours must have thought when, every time it thundered, Glam-Nan, Sister and myself would commando roll from the house into the garage. Glam-Nan would distribute marigolds and wellies and we would sit, in our rubber-wear, in the car, garage door shut. There we would wait, rocking in the dark, for the storm to pass.

I am better nowadays thanks to the regular counselling (that’s a joke mum – don’t get upset!) but must admit I wasn’t thrilled to find myself rubberless and exposed with not a garage in sight this morning, waiting to be toasted each time I walked near a tree. I made it home though just as the hail began.

Anyway, I’m pleased to announce that The Chick and I are in the paper on Page 3!. We may be weenie sized (Brother-in-Law said he mistook the photo for a full stop) but we are there nonetheless. I quote, “Coming soon – one young mum, one baby, and a whole lot of nappies. Look out for Chickie’s Blog on the website soon”. The best bit is my quiff got cut out of the photo– Thank God.

It occurred to me that this isn’t my first flirt with fame. Oh no, I'm a published artist and fund raiser of note. When I was 10, I appeared in Horse and Pony magazine when I drew a family of horses, I remember I had the Grandad Horse smoking a pipe. Then, when I was 12, I did a 6 mile sponsored walk and totted up £70 in sponsorship. It sadly made the paper as it was the most anyone raised. Not being one for doing things by halves, I did knock on every door in a 5 mile radius demanding contributions.

Accountant also appeared in his local paper under the title, “Local Geek attends Art Exhibition”. Bless him, he was about 8, dressed in a bow tie with short sleeve shirt which was tucked into his little shorts. He stood there, oblivious to the fact he look like a compressed 40 year old, gazing thoughtfully at a painting. Did I mention, he had a full comb-over as well?

Oh, and let's not forget, the time Sister put a photo of Glam-Nan in the Herald, make-up less and sporting hair curlers for her 50th Birthday Announcement. Remember that Glam-Nan - all sister's idea - nothing to do with me, I'm the sweet one! May be you should consider whether I deserve a few more of those Ginger Biscuits!