Chickie's Off - Albeit Slowly

I staggered out of bed this morning as, no matter how long I sleep, I always feel like rigor mortis has set in when I peel my eyelids back come morning.

Chickie had stayed over at Glam Nan and Snowy’s, coinciding rather well with his transformation into The Snot Tot. They were lucky enough to enjoy an ‘Audience with Snuffles’ between 2am and 5am this morning. My journey into consciousness also got a kick start when Accountant was deliberately lying in wait for me outside the bathroom door, staring at me, lips tucked in.

I collapsed against the doorframe in terror as I pondered whether deliberately scaring your wife and her heart murmur half to death was really the act of a stable, loving husband. I decided probably not and sought my revenge. It came when I sent Accountant out to tend to our two week long drainage problem, caused by his over active bottom.

Deliciously, peering into our now severely blocked drains complete with floating nasties and some form of fungus, found Accountant returning to me green and heaving.

We then went round to Meerkat Manor for lunchipoos. After lunch, Meerkat and Accountant sat on the sofa exchanging love heart sweeties. Accountant gave Meerkat, "For Keeps" and Meerkat returned the sentiment with "Be Mine". They then went outside giggling like girls, reappeared outside the back window and lit up cigarettes except, they weren't cigarettes, they were lollypop sticks. Meerkat and Accountant seemed to find this much funnier than it actually was. We then played a new game called "Spin the Poff" which involved whizzing her round and then watching her swagger around the room. No Poffs were harmed in the ‘Spin the Poff’ extravaganza.

Chickie has showed us up again today. After a couple of nasty bouts of constipation, he has decided that the production of ‘nappy dumplings’ is far too painful a business and to be avoided. As such, he’s sealed the exit, the effort of which turns him purple and makes him grunt like a hippo. If you pick him up mid-clench, he remains frozen in the lotus position which he demonstrated today for everyone as they looked back in horror. Unfortunately, what goes in must come out and it seems that the McChickie Nuggets are making their escape under the cover of darkness, catching him unawares whilst he sleeps.

Something momentus happened today. Chickie walked properly using Poff’s baby walker with no assistance. He did lengths of the lounge/diner. I was so proud of him.

It’s never quite so good though when the ‘All Singing/All Dancing/Top of the Range Poff’ performed this minor feat five months before and is now an accomplished gymnast . LucyWucy and Meerkat did their best to look impressed and Poff kindly walked in Chickie’s wake clapping.

I appreciate he’s not the fastest one off the developmental starting blocks but Meerkat’s email which followed on our return home was just mean, “Please find attached images of your 14 month old child using a 'special baby walker' aimed at children between the ages of 10-12 weeks. His progress however, we all agree, is excellent........ “

Well Meerkat, I'll leave you with this. No one likes a smart a#&e baby no matter how cute she is ! x