Poff Snubs Santa in Grotto Shocko

Nothing gives Glam-Nan greater pleasure than discovering a revolutionary new product for the home. Whether it be kitchen utensil, magic duster, whizzy little hoover or antibacterial wipe, she’s in her element when unearthing any new entries to the domestic market.

Once a product has passed Glam-Nan’s rigorous five point assessment (value, ease of use, durability, usefulness and performance), it’s ready to be purchased in duplicate and proudly bestowed upon both daughters. The product in daughters’ houses is then monitored closely to ensure it’s being used to it’s full potential and, most importantly, appreciated for the fabulous little time/labour/money saving gizmo that it is. Daughters will be required to regularly praise gizmo and answer all of Glam-Nan’s probing questions regarding gizmo, speedily and accurately. Hesitation is unacceptable and would prove that gizmo isn’t foremost in your thoughts.

As you would expect, Glam-Nan disapproves strongly of anything she views as impractical. Unfortunately, my old potato peeler fell into this category. As such, Glam-Nan replaced it. Her replacement is excellent and does make my vegetable-peeling life much easier. However, most of my left thumb is now missing thanks to this peeler which has now risen to the number one spot for the thing in my house that I most hurt myself on. Every day, a little more of my thumb ends up in the bin with the veggie scrapings and today has been no exception. It is currently being held together by a very big plaster.

Went to Brighton today with LucyWucy who I’ve graciously decided to forgive for her scandalous conduct yesterday. It was a big day for The Poff and The Chick as they met Santa and his Elves for the first time in their lives. Whilst we waited to take them into Santa’s Grotto, one of the Elves did a little dance to keep them amused. Chickie just stared disapprovingly at the bizarre, dancing hobbit and Poff let out a piercing scream and then sobbed uncontrollably.

Meeting Santa wasn’t the touching, “Miracle on 34th Street” moment I’d imagined either. Chick continued to look disgusted by the freak show his mummy had paid £4 for him to see and Poff’s screaming gained serious momentum when she was followed into the dark tent by the scary Elf. Only dogs could hear her when Santa finally made his introduction.