Thigh Surprise

Since having Chickie, the Doctors has become our top attraction. If it’s not me, it’s him. Today was me.

Despite my no doubt featuring on the top of his "Monthly Neurotic Patient Report", my Doctor looked as interested as ever as I described my itchy spots in fascinating detail.

“They start like stinging nettle marks, then they go red, then itchy”

My doctor looked perplexed, as he always does whenever I pay him a visit and present him with a fresh array of obscure symptoms.

Next up:

“It’s got ridges in it”.

More perplexion followed by some prodding and poking.

“You’ve got flabby-thigh-itis”. Okay, whilst not his exact diagnosis, that was the upshot. A lump of fat that’s taken the time and trouble to journey, no doubt from my bottom, to set up home on my right thigh creating a somewhat unique cobbled effect.

No hot pants for me this summer then, not that they were ever an option really but, a girl can dream that a diet rich in cocoa solids can and will lead to being toned somewhere.