A Very Pert Bottom

Chickie’s training for the “Buns of Steel Championships 2007” stepped up a notch today as he invested approximately 80% of his time and energy clenching his bottom cheeks very much together. No amount of prising, coaxing, cuddles or Vaseline helped as Chickie repeatedly proved his commitment to his cause.

Jesting aside, I’ve decided now is the time to really worry, mainly due to the internet research I conducted earlier. Reading about distended stomachs and middle-aged soiling problems did not provide the reassurance I was seeking. I know I broke my golden rule by typing symptoms into Google but it reminded me how wise I was to advise myself not to. Nevertheless, Chickie’s going to the doctor and, potentially, a counsellor as soon as I can get appointments.

On a positive note, Chickie made some developmental leaps today. He fed himself for the first time. Admittedly, it wasn’t the most graceful of manoeuvres but he put the spoon into the cereal and then in his mouth. I gazed proudly at my child genius whilst wiping the Weetabix dripping from his eyebrows. This was followed by him actually listening to me reading him a story instead of snatching it off me and beating me round the head with it. He even said ‘Moo’ and attempted ‘Woof Woof’. Progress at last.

My paunch is back. The benefits of reducing it to a manageable size by not eating anything yummy at all in November and half of December now lost to me forever.