The Hills Are Alive With the Buzz of Bikini Trimmers

Today started late (9.30am) and hysterically (Sister’s fault). Heart palpitations kicked in the moment I picked up the phone to hear my sister’s frenzied tone. My immediate thought was that Glam-Nan or Snowy was hooked up to a life support machine at the hospital and my sister was ringing to tell me to get there before it was too late.

“What is it? WHAT? WHAT!?!” I shrieked, pulling the phone away from my ear because I was so scared of her answer. “I’VE WON, I’VE WON” she screamed.

“WHAT?” You’ve won? Glam-Nan, Snowy? They’re alive? Oh thank you God, thank you!”. “I’ve Won” she reiterated, obviously less than pleased with my lack of enthusiasm and trying to refocus me on her achievement. “You’ve won what?” I asked. “That Theatre Trip Competition I entered of course” she replied.

I can’t actually believe she was surprised to win as she entered over 200 times, in a variety of voices using different names and addresses and even got the children to ring as she didn’t want to appear “pathetic” (think that ship might have sailed). Her overall phone bill must have been more than the theatre trip cost in the first place. Anyway, congratulations – I’m very glad you won and I’m also very glad my parents are okay.

Sister loves theatre trips and every family member has fallen foul of a “theatre trip gift” from her at some point or other. She’s so thoughtful, she even buys a ticket for herself to ensure you don’t have to worry about who to take. The fact that no one else in the family actually likes the theatre doesn’t phase her at all.

Brother-in-Law bravely raised this with her after enduring a gruelling three hour production of “Blood Brothers” – one of sisters latest presents. Sister was apparently “stunned” by the revelation that her husband of ten years didn’t like the theatre and surely no one would think she would purchase gifts for others that she secretly wanted for herself?

After buying Sister a bikini trimmer last Christmas, Brother-in-Law was on shaky ground so it fell to me to let Sister know that Brother-in-Law wasn’t the only relative that didn’t like watching over-dramatic performances of ridiculously smiley people randomly bursting into song and prancing around for no reason. Sister was agog – how could I, a blood relative, not appreciate the performing arts? I love the cinema if that’s any consolation? I’ve got my Birthday Theatre trip from Sister coming up next March – whooppee! I saw Brother-in-Law smirking when I opened the "You're going to see Dirty Dancing, in London, WITH ME" envelope earlier this year.

Chickie pulled the Christmas tree over today. I heard the sound of baubles and twinkly lights hitting the deck and ran in to see a guilty looking baby sat amidst the debris with a “It wasn’t me” look on his chubby little face.